The river is above my head
Gushing about her tales
The sun is below
Some ruffling of leaves
And some birds maybe
His voice too drones in between
Telling me not to sleep
Not to leave him..
Who is he?
Who am I supposed to be?
He’s holding me tight
And I dunno why it feels right
He has this look on his eye
Which clutches my heart
I don’t know why
And that’s the look he gives me
The lines on back of his hands go straight to the lines on the corner my eyes
That face is familiar but unknown ; and I couldn’t get enough of it still
He keeps coming back
I keep shoving him away
That feels right
As if I’m doing it deliberately
To keep him safe away
But how can I do that
I don’t even know his name
I don’t even know what I’m called-
But he always says, “Ruiz, Ruiz ”
I suppose that might be my name
I know I’m sick
I keep forgetting things
They say its been a while
And it will be a while until…
Some days I can’t believe my life
Nothing makes sense and I forget everything!
Why me ? I wail and thrash
Those white coated persons try to
make me sleep..
But I don’t want to!
I want to remember everything; not sleep and forget all of it (again)
That’s when he holds me and kisses my forehead and calms me down
I know I’m okay..with him
His strong arms makes me feel real
His musky scent cuts the haze, my life has become
His presence makes it less painful
His kisses make me want more and I don’t even know him
His tear streaked cheeks makes my
heart cry out – why? I know not!
I know I’m okay..with him, even though I dunno why..but that’s okay I guess
He’s beside me
Silent night and cold winds
His choked kisses on me
I turn to him, gazing deep
Into those colourful orbs
Focusing on me –
I feel a surge of emotion
I can’t name
And say, “I love you John”
I want to ask myself, why I said that..
But his eyes are distracting me
Filled with emotions so alien yet so known to me
Making me feel so different and yet free
He tries to kiss me
And this time, I give in